The Malacca Conspiracy

Have you watched that show NCIS? Love it!

I also enjoy reading books in this vein - we'll call them military thrillers - authors like Vince Flynn, David Baladacci, and Brad Thor. All that to say, when Blog Tour Spot announced they were sponsoring The Malacca Conspiracy, the latest in Don Brown's Navy Justice series, I was IN.

What's not to like? A free book, an interesting subject, and the invitation to spout my opinion.

The Malacca Conspiracy is a fast-paced political thriller taking place across multiple time-zones. The story has all the right ingredients: assassinations, explosions, Wall street, the White House, and a side of romance. But somehow these ingredients didn't a great book make.

Though there are a few central people in the novel, Brown introduces what felt like an entire army of supporting characters. I found the continual introduction of new names (and subsequent mini-character developments) distracting from the main story line. I also found the constant time-zone hops difficult to keep up with.

Brown is also writing from the perspective of a Christian. While it was refreshing to read a book where the hero wasn't a total women-chasing, booze-soaking man-whore, some of the situations and responses didn't ring true. For instance, in a moment of major crisis the president learns of a political assassination and an unfolding terrorist plot, he slams his fist on his desk and yells, "DARN!" Really? Not saying Brown should have loaded the book with expletives, but moments like this totally snapped me out of the reality Brown had created for the reader.

I could shoot for a compliment sandwich here and try to wrap things up on a positive note, but truth is I just didn't care for the book on multiple levels.

But as my grandfather used to say, opinions are like ____________... Everybody's got one.

So that's my opinion, but I know there are lots of other bloggers posting their reviews this week, so go read what they have to say!

Renaissance Woman or Just Plain ADD?

Earlier this summer my dad and I decided to work on a project together. I don't know what the typical father/adult-daughter activity looks like, but we opted to build and launch an game app for a smartphone. He was going to be the brains of the operation and I was going to be the web peon. A few weeks ago we manged to rope in a good friend, Eva, to assist with the artwork and PR.

Our project has take on a life of it's own and we're getting ready to launch Ninja Stick Warrior in the next couple of weeks! (On a side note, if you have an android phone, I'd love to rope you in, too! Leave a comment on this post and I'll have "my people" call "your people.")

So, in addition to making greeting cards, coffee, and websites, I'm adding android ninja to my wildly unfocused resume. And what's a new hobby without a blog to support it?

Stuff Carrie Likes

I just finished reading Stuff Christians Like (a.k.a. SCL). It’s along the lines of the blog Stuff White People Like except it’s about, well, stuff Christians like (whether said Christians are white or otherwise is beside the point).

I’ve read some SCL blog posts before and enjoyed the humor, so when Blog Tour Spots announced they were sponsoring a discussion of the book I was IN.

The book is a series of super-short essays calling out some of the funnier (and less-than-Biblical) sides of Christian culture (i.e. Using “Let Me Pray About It” as a Euphemism for “No”, or, Ranking Honeymoon Sex Slightly Higher Than the Second Coming of Christ). Jonathan Acuff writes with a pretty sarcastic bent – and that kind of humor is right up my alley.

It also doesn’t hurt that I grew up in a Southern Baptist church (as I suspect Acuff did) and can readily relate to his “pop-culture” references (my favorite being a lyric from Psalty, a musical I sang in somewhere around 3^rd grade. As a total side note, I still think of Psalty's girlfriend every time I eat a strawberry Starburst due to their shape and color being so similar. Can I get an "Amen?"). All of that to say, someone coming from a more traditional church background might not chortle as frequently as I did. A non-church type might not even *like* the book at all (gasp!). But seriously…

Do we, as Christians, take ourselves too seriously? Do we not take God seriously enough? Despite the comical tone of the book, Acuff does a good job of leading the reader to self-reflect. His style is not to pound home The Point, nor does he neatly wrap up every topic with what we should do. Rather, his over-the-top sarcasm reveals just how ridiculous (or insincere) we Christians can sometimes be.

That entire last paragraph could be neatly summed up as: The book was thought-provoking.

I found it particularly thought-provoking in the area of prayer. How many times have I told a friend, “I’ll pray for you” or “I’ll pray for that situation”? I’ve always tried not to speak those words idly and do my best to send an immediate shout-out to God, BUT beyond that moment, I find I rarely engage God in true, thoughtful, intercession. Yes, I said it out loud: MY PRAYER LIFE IS SEVERELY LACKING AND YOU SHOULDN'T DEPEND ON ME TO TAKE YOUR PROBLEMS TO GOD WITH ANY REGULARITY.

But, hey, there are "worse sins" out there, right? If you'd like to be privy to my juicier shortcomings, you'll have to start showing up to my small group. Or, skip that altogether and just read the section on CONFESSING SAFE SINS (page 193).

The bottom line: I laughed out loud a lot (1 star), I found the material personally relevant (2 stars), I was challenged when I didn't expect to be (3 stars), I've already recommended it to friends (4 stars), I found the illustrated version of The Side Hug to be a stroke of artistic brilliance (5 stars).

Check out the SCL blog first. If you like it, buy the book.

The end.

People of Starbucks

My customers seem to be giving me a good deal of inspiration these days. I've decided to pool all of my previous Starbucks-related blog posts and tweets into a new blog. I give you: peopleofstarbucks.wordpress.com. Enjoy!

Drive-Thru Etiquette, Holiday Edition

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Actually, in the retail world, it's been looking a lot like Christmas since early-October.

It's been awhile since I've posted Handy Drive-Thru Etiquette Guidelines or Helpful Follow-up Tips. Since the holidays seem to come with their own special set of challenges, I felt it important to offer you additional advice on how to make your coffee-drinking experiences a little merrier and bright.

Shall we?

Setting the stage/lane:

1. Fact: The colder it gets, the more people will crave our warm beverages. This is not an evil marketing ploy to get more people in front of you in the DT lane.
2. Fact: Perhaps it's the generosity of the season, but people tend to purchase lots of extra beverages to take with them and share at their destination. This increased Treat to Driver ratio (TtD/r) affects your wait time. We'll discuss tips on how to deal with this later.

Peppermint:

1. I'm getting ready to share a big Starbucks secret. Are you ready? Here goes: We sell Peppermint Mochas ALL YEAR LONG. If you have ever doubted the effectiveness of marketing, you will shed said doubt when you realize that it takes us eleven months of off-season to work through a case of peppermint syrup, but feature that sprinkle-laden treat on a sign and we'll go through a case a day! Hallelujah!
2. That said, we may run out of peppermint for short periods during this blessed time of year. Please do not groan, shout, writhe, put your hands on your head, place an emergency phone-call for alternative beverage advice, or have a general freak-out. It's just peppermint, folks.

Bulk Orders (a.k.a. TtD/r):

1. For sake of ease, let's define a Bulk Order as any purchase over $15 (of course, exceptions might include a cup of coffee and a Paul McCartney CD, which may be a bad idea, but is decidedly NOT a Bulk Order).
   
2. While we can all agree that DT's are extremely convenient, they are NOT an appropriate venue for Bulk Orders (that's what our Cafe is for!). Bulk Orders might include (but are not limited to): 12 hot chocolates for the soccer team, 20 assorted pastries for your office, 2 coffee travelers for your meeting, 30 $5 gift cards for the teaching staff, etc.
   
3. If you are foolish enough to order these items in the DT there is a high likelihood I will ask you to come into the Cafe anyway.
   
4. If you are unfortunate enough to be behind someone with a Bulk Order, sorry, as your wait time will definitely increase. Suggested tips on dealing with longer waits due to Bulk Orders: Keep a magazine or book handy in your vehicle, purchase some VIA ready-brew so you can drink a cup of instant while waiting on the real stuff, play games or update your Facebook status on your iPhone.
   

Gift Cards:

1. While we applaud your generosity (and patronizing our store), there are a couple of Customer Courtesy Tips to keep in mind when purchasing gift cards.
2. CCT#1: For those wishing to purchase Bulk Orders of gift cards, please use the handy online order tool at Starbucks.com. They can ship them super-quick and you don't have to wait in line for a long time. Win/win!
3. CCT#2: Because only five of you read this blog, I know most of those who need to know about CCT#1 will stay uninformed. Spread the word!
4. CCT#3: If you need to purchase more than, say, three gift cards, it's a good idea to wait until after the morning rush to do so. Drivers tend to lose their holiday cheer if they have to wait behind someone activating a ton of gift cards.
   
5. Speaking of drivers...
   

Kill Them (with Kindness, of course!):

1. Holidays bring out the worst in people. I know I battle an occasional bout of homicidal rage when driving through a busy parking lot or navigating around clueless pedestrians.
2. To minimize the likelihood of bloodshed and corresponding prison time, I would recommend: Practicing your yoga breathing, buying a cuppa for the person in line behind you (pay it forward!), engaging in a friendly manner with your harried barista, listening to soothing tunes (can we say Charlie Brown Christmas?), or just taking those few minutes you're stuck in line to RELAX.
3. Once you've finished relaxing, inhaling, and receiving your beverage at the DT window, proceed with utmost caution to the end of the DT lane. There's a world full of idiot drivers beyond.
   

Peace be with you,
cdub

* This blog in no way represents the True Feelings of Starbucks Coffee Co. I am merely a barista with strong opinions.