yesterday i did a little shopping at target. among other items, my basket contained a can of Raid and some roach motels. when i tossed my purchase items up on the checkout counter, the checkout girl asked me if i was having trouble with The Roaches. we're in Texas, doesn't everyone have this problem?

but that's beside the point. let's break down this transaction. i am in a store and i'm putting the items i have deemed necessary and/or desirable on the checkout counter. by virtue of the fact that i have selected these particular items, they have become somewhat personal to me. and i have a firm belief that store employees should not question the nature of your purhcases or speculate aloud as to why you may be making those purchases.

now don't get me wrong. i was not offended by the roach question. it was a legitimate and unoffensive attempt at small meaningless banter between two strangers in a public place. but let's expand the example. imagine that the item was significantly more personal than a can of Raid. can we say Blue Star Ointment or Monistat? can you imagine a store employee asking you how your infection was coming along? or offering details about how that particular product had really done the trick for them? i shudder to think.

you see where my rule of thumb makes sense now. you could argue that perhaps some basket items are "fair game" for conversational scrutiny while others are "off limits," but who can determine this? can we leave the decision in the hands of millions of variable store employees? i think not. the safest bet is to always limit conversations of this manner to inquiries of the weather or comments on local goings-on. i mean, i hate to be shallow, but sometimes you've just got to draw a line...