i have a secret to tell you.

there's a stash of silverware in the company kitchen to which i regularly help myself. most often i use a knife to facilitate the application of peanut butter on my bread. if there's someone else in the kitchen, i make a show of cleaning the knife with scalding water, soap, and friction before returning it to the stash. but, if i'm alone, i just run a little water over the knife and remove the visible traces of peanut butter with a paper towel. i'm sure this is utterly disgusting, but i don't care. and this makes me happy.