so embarrassing. i went to super walmart (a.k.a. "the super dub") to do a little lite shopping this afternoon. i filled up my cart with a miscellaneous assortment of items and then proceeded to the self-checkout line. i carefully scanned each item, grouped them in like bags, and tied my bags securely. the grand total came to $38.52.

i patted myself down only to discover that my wallet was definitely not on me. i emptied my pockets and came up with $17.01. i was tempted to abandon the entire lot of goods, but the thought of double-shopping sounded like a beating. i had to untie each bag and determine which items were critical (read: cheap) and which items could wait (read: over $2.50). a light must have been flashing somewhere because a walmart lady raced up to see what was happening. i turned a little red explaining myself. for each item removed she had to enter a special authorization code, then i had to hand her the item. when it was all said and done, she was holding what should have been my cat food, tampons, garden cultivator, paint drop sheets, and air filters. i'm pretty sure i paid for deodorant, but i think it might have gotten lost in the fray as it is nowhere to be found.

after leaving, i called my friend to tell her that i had just had the most embarrassing walmart experience. before unloading my story, she said she might have one to top mine. i told her my story and then she told me about the time her son was riding along in his baby bjorn and had some serious diarrhea. she didn't even realize it until a stranger walked up and told her she had a dookie trail running down her frontside. to add insult to injury, they used the loudspeaker to call for a Hazardous Waste Cleanup. yeah, i do believe her walmart story trumps mine. secretly, this makes me feel better.